Friday, March 20, 2015

I'm a really bad friend right now

I can't really say when it happened.  Sometime over the last year I've started becoming a really bad friend.  I all but refuse to talk on the phone.  I only ever communicate through texting or social media.  I have almost developed a phobia of talking on the phone.

And my days - they are used up already before they even start.  I am a "mostly" stay-at-home mom.  I homeschool.  I'm assuming homeschool moms are similar to work-outside-the-home moms in that we just can't hang out during the day.  We can't do lunch with friends and by the end of our day - we are too exhausted to go out.  We can barely do dinner for our own family.  And lets not even talk about how I am doing some real estate on the side.

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Homeschooling has completely taken it out of me.  Don't get me wrong - I mostly love it.  I love being with my kids all day.  I love the freedom we have.  I love seeing those light bulb moments.  Yet I am with my kids all day.  I am always needed.  I am always doing something.  I am always feeding someone.  I am always teaching someone.

It is wonderful.  It is emotionally taxing.  It is mentally draining.  I just don't have the capacity for others that I once did.  I wish I could find that balance.  I am taking MUCH better care of myself.  I'm eating better than I ever have.  I am getting exercise in on a regular basis.  I am fixing my hair and putting on make up and wearing jewelry.  I am finding time for me, for my husband, for my kids but I can't seem to find the balance to do things with friends.

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I mean I do things with friends but usually only if we are doing something with or for our kids at the same time.  And if I can find any time to be without the kids I desperately need a date night with my husband.  I like my friends.  I really do.  I'm just not balancing that part of my life well right now.

And I'm finding this odd peace about being alone too.  I was one that NEVER wanted to be alone.  I always needed people around me.  I would get anxiety if I knew I had to be alone for an evening.  But now I have so much more peace and I actually have started craving alone time.  And I even went out to dinner by myself!  By myself people, I NEVER do that and I can't believe I did do that.  And I enjoyed it.  Am I turning into an introvert?  I don't know.  These are new roads that I am traveling.


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I feel like there will be a day that I can freely talk on the phone again or go out on a Thursday night for coffee and dessert with friends.  Today is just not that day.

During the day I just cannot have conversations with people.  It puts my day behind and my kids know I'm on the phone so they quit doing school and run around like wild banshees and then I have to work twice as hard to get them back and focused.  When you lose focus it takes a lot to get it back!  

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To my friends:  I still love you.  I really do.  I still want to see you and hang out with you but I just can't do it well right now.  I still want to keep in touch but I can't always meet in person or even talk on the phone.  Someday I will be a better friend again.  Someday it will happen.





 

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

My Paleo Meatloaf

Meatloaf is just one of those easy meals that I make that my whole family likes.  Those type of meals are rare (ones that everyone likes).  I don't really measure things but I kind of just throw them in so this isn't an exact recipe.


A photo posted by Gretchen (@extraordinaryordinarylife) on
I use 2 pounds of grassfed beef or 1 pound of grassfed beef and 1 pound of ground venison.  To that I add 1/4 cup of almond flour, 1 beaten egg, a few teaspoons of Italian seasoning, garlic powder, onion power, salt and pepper (I don't really measure them out).

Preheat oven to 425 and then mix all of the above.  Form it into a loaf and bake 45-50 minutes.  Then I mix 1/4 cup of organic ketchup (or if you want to make your own do it!) and 1 tablespoon of honey.  I take out the meatloaf and coat the top of it with the ketchup mixture and bake an additional 5-7 minutes.

Allow to cool and serve!  We rarely have leftovers.  You can also just leave out the almond flour if you have a nut allergy in your family.


 

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Just a few more days

I'm coming up on one year of eating paleo.  Never in a million years did I think I could NOT eat bread and cheese on a regular basis because that is crazy talk right?  I mean just completely insane. Because bread and cheese taste good.

Yet, I have lived with eating mostly paleo for almost a YEAR!  I've never done anything for that long - I mean any personal improvement things.  It is exciting because I have "exercised" so many food demons.

I am no longer addicted to sugar and I can go weeks without dessert - weeks!  I couldn't even go like hours before this.  My poor children tell me I haven't made cookies in soooooooooooo long.

There are so many benefits for me that I have found eating this way.  I will begin to unpack those soon. And I think I'm going to do a give-a-way too!

For now here are a few posts I wrote over the last year:

I'm doing the Whole30

Whole30 Update

Why I chose Paleo









Sunday, February 8, 2015

Paleo menu plan 2.8.15

Here is this week's menu with a few new recipes.

Breakfast:

Paleo sausage egg mc"muffin"

Bacon and eggs and green peppers and apples

Sausage, egg and pepper bake

Tex-Mex Breakfast Hash Casserole

Lunch:

Leftovers

Stir fry with stir fry frozen veggies from Sam's Club and whatever meat we have left over.  I throw in some ginger, garlic salt and coconut aminos to taste.

A big salad with whatever meat and veggies we have.

Supper:


Oven baked pork ribs and

Garlic and herb crusted pork roast and

Slow cooker apple scented venison roast and

Andouille sausage and sweet potato bake and spinach salad

Pioneer Woman's Hamburger soup because it is so good.  Did not have last week

Hamburgers and homemade fries and green beans

Leftover Day


 

Monday, January 26, 2015

Menu Plan Paleo - 1.26.15

Here is this week's menu with a few new recipes.

Breakfast:

Paleo sausage egg mc"muffin"

Bacon and eggs and green peppers and apples


Sausage, egg and pepper bake

Tex-Mex Breakfast Hash Casserole

Lunch:


Lunch is honestly just mostly leftovers from supper or if we fill the grill for the week, we have meat or chicken and then a green smoothie or salad and fruit.

Supper:



Maple Chili Pork Chops and stir fry veggies and fried cauliflower rice

Cauliflower dirty rice and andouille sausage

Sweet potato chili fries and spinach salad

Spicy honey mustard pork roast and green beans (maybe baked potatoes too)

Sweet potato Enchiladas

Pioneer Woman's Hamburger soup because it is so good.

Leftover Day



 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Uncharted Territory


I grew up around a lot of Christian people for most of my life and I can only name a few handfuls of people that were joyful - out of thousands.

I had heard so much.  I had went to church for so long - for every service.  I didn't miss many- Sunday morning, Sunday night, visitation, Wednesday night, revival - we were always at church.

I continued this into adulthood but then I started going do a different denomination but in all honesty it was a lot the same.  There was a few years when I went to a non denominational church that was actually quite wonderful.  There was some inner turmoil in the church and it ended with the pastor retiring and a new pastor coming in. 

My epiphany came when I sat in Sunday school as a mother and as an adult and the teacher asked what we would do if we only had a week to live.  There, of course, were the standard answers - tell as many people as I could about Jesus.

You know what?  I sat in my chair and my first thought was - "I would stop doing laundry and take my family to the beach."

I didn't think at all about Jesus or about eternity.  I came home and knew I had lost something.  It was a slow epiphany in my case because I kept going through the motions.  I kept reading my Bible daily, doing the accountability thing, going to church but I was pretty much spiritually dead inside because I just didn't believe that what I was taught was it.

I saw such a huge disconnect between what the Bible said and what I saw in churches.  And there was no joy and not a lot of hope.  But condemnation - now that was a plenty.  I was officially over it all.

I had lost my first love as the Bible said.  Manipulation and guilt just stopped working with me.  I could no longer go through the motions because of the guilt I felt.  It wasn't in me.  I did not want to.  I was done.  But I did not know anything else.  How else could one go to God without guilt?  How were you to fill the church pews if not for guilt for not knowing enough and not doing enough?

I didn't know if there was anyone out there that preached the Word but dropped the guilt.  Could there be?  I didn't think so.

So I just kept going to church but I stopped listening when I was there.  Tuning things out or literally walking out to sit in the cafe with my baby.  It is an odd place to be - spiritually desperate and hungry but not knowing what to do about it.


Christians are failing.  To preach the gospel, to love people, to show grace.  I feel like I am in a very odd place because I still 100% believe in Jesus.  I still believe what He says is true.  But I didn't believe in church anymore and I had a hard time going.  Its hard to say that because it was all I ever knew.

But I found that broken people didn't really belong in church.  You can't be broken and let people know about it.  Because if you do you aren't really having faith.  You aren't really changed. 

I finally found a church that fit what I needed.  I call it the soul healing church.   And I fear if we have to move or it disbands that I will stop going to church.

I love the Lord.  I do.  I know the Bible well having studied it all my life and memorizing many verses and chapters.  But legalism scares me.  It makes me run away.  It gives me hives - seriously.  I can't handle it.

So here I am forging ahead despite my fear and despite going into uncharted territory because with grace you don't have the checklist of things I should do or should not do.  With grace you just feel like you are free falling - literally and it is terrifying and wonderful at the same time.

And I'm still on this journey and I'm still trying to figure things out.  In the meantime I pray.  I really pray a lot. 

This was probably the book that gave me the most hope.  It changed my perspective and I love it!  I recommend everyone read it.

One Way Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Stitch Fix - my first one! {A Review}

This was my first Stitch Fix!  I really enjoyed all of the pieces.  Go here to see how it works.

This was one outfit - skinny black pants and this top.
Market and Spruce - Sawyer Space Dye Dolman Sleeve Knit Top and Kut from the Kloth - DAnny 5-Pocket Knit Pant:



I just didn't love this scarf.  I'm scarf-phobic - as in I don't know how to wear them and I always feel like they are choking me.  I used the guide as to how to tie it but I'm still not pulling it off.  So I returned it.


I loved this - LA Made Northridge Cowl Neck Jersey Top.  It is out of my norm but I really liked it.  Sorry pictures are not the greatest.





But see I'm still struggling with the scarf.



And this - just way too out of the box for me.  Someone else could pull this off but it just isn't me.


Overall I loved The Fix!  I would definitely do it again.  I'm planning to do it every other month. 
You can pick the cost of the items and these were $50-$100.  I'm going to try my next one to be a little cheaper just to see what I get.  You pay a $20 styling fee and you can return everything and that is all you pay or you only pay for what you keep.  You get a discount if you choose to keep everything.

I think this Stitch Fix thing will be something I try for a while!  Have you done one?

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